Thank you for this piece. I can relate entirely. If you can make it work, and please forgive the advice from a stranger, may I suggest moving back close to your hometown, wherever that may be. It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the kind words! I’m from Virginia, but both sets of parents are now in the tri-state area. So we’ll probably stick around here to have all the grandparents nearby. Best of both worlds.
Given you seem to enjoy the physical act of walking, you might want to consider that when looking at suburbs. It's a form of (mild) exercise too and when you're no longer able to do that you might have to replace it with running or something, which isn't going to be as intellectually stimulating as walking around Manhattan and noticing yogurt has been replaced by weed. So there's actually two needs that are being fulfilled here: novelty and physical activity. Something to think about.
Great piece. I spent most of my late 20s and 30s trying to do the same, in the same discipline too. I warn you tho that you will still feel regret tho, tho it'll be the failure of things not having worked out as you wished, rather than you yourself falling short. Failure after effort is still failure, which is why most people prefer the failure of never having tried.
I don't think there is anything wrong with the suburbs -- I was just enthusing about the wonders of dogs and backyards with a friend who is 40 with two kids and considering moving out of the DC Metro area. But while you're in New York, you are definitely not too old to take advantage of some of the cool stuff there is to do there outside of the comedy scene.
If you're into writing, which this substack suggests you are, there are tons of great reading series and one-off events at bookstores like the Strand attended by folks ranging from their twenties to their seventies. If you're into visual art, you can definitely spend a Saturday afternoon wandering from gallery to gallery in Chelsea with other people your age+. And obviously there are lots of other kinds of live performance that skew older: jazz, theater, even magic shows. I think once you've left a particular creative scene in NYC, it can feel like there's nothing else out there besides clubs where you have to scream over the music, but that's really not true.
That's a good point. I was involved in a "scene" for so long, and only extricated myself about a year ago, that I think I have a leftover aversion to certain events. It definitely wouldn't hurt to get over that, make some effort and actively seek stuff out for myself. Zoomers aren't the only ones who need to be told to get off the phone and go outside.
Thank you for this piece. I can relate entirely. If you can make it work, and please forgive the advice from a stranger, may I suggest moving back close to your hometown, wherever that may be. It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the kind words! I’m from Virginia, but both sets of parents are now in the tri-state area. So we’ll probably stick around here to have all the grandparents nearby. Best of both worlds.
Excellent writing.
Given you seem to enjoy the physical act of walking, you might want to consider that when looking at suburbs. It's a form of (mild) exercise too and when you're no longer able to do that you might have to replace it with running or something, which isn't going to be as intellectually stimulating as walking around Manhattan and noticing yogurt has been replaced by weed. So there's actually two needs that are being fulfilled here: novelty and physical activity. Something to think about.
Thanks! I will be noticing and taking mental note of people’s lawn care. It’s the 40 year old’s version of observing the city streets.
There's probably a standup routine in it. ;) But maybe I'm stuck in the Seinfeld era.
Great piece. I spent most of my late 20s and 30s trying to do the same, in the same discipline too. I warn you tho that you will still feel regret tho, tho it'll be the failure of things not having worked out as you wished, rather than you yourself falling short. Failure after effort is still failure, which is why most people prefer the failure of never having tried.
https://open.substack.com/pub/stiffupperquip/p/how-i-quit-stand-up-comedy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=q4s0h
Oh I still feel the failure. It’s just tempered by knowing I left it all out there. Not great, but it could be worse.
Same failure I feel. I got a lot of Substack pieces and a novel out of it tho!
Phenomenal writing
Thanks buddy. I’m trying to live that post comedy suburban life like you soon!
I don't think there is anything wrong with the suburbs -- I was just enthusing about the wonders of dogs and backyards with a friend who is 40 with two kids and considering moving out of the DC Metro area. But while you're in New York, you are definitely not too old to take advantage of some of the cool stuff there is to do there outside of the comedy scene.
If you're into writing, which this substack suggests you are, there are tons of great reading series and one-off events at bookstores like the Strand attended by folks ranging from their twenties to their seventies. If you're into visual art, you can definitely spend a Saturday afternoon wandering from gallery to gallery in Chelsea with other people your age+. And obviously there are lots of other kinds of live performance that skew older: jazz, theater, even magic shows. I think once you've left a particular creative scene in NYC, it can feel like there's nothing else out there besides clubs where you have to scream over the music, but that's really not true.
That's a good point. I was involved in a "scene" for so long, and only extricated myself about a year ago, that I think I have a leftover aversion to certain events. It definitely wouldn't hurt to get over that, make some effort and actively seek stuff out for myself. Zoomers aren't the only ones who need to be told to get off the phone and go outside.